Emotional reactions are automatic. When something unexpected happens- especially when it's out of our control- our initial response is often instinctive. But what happens next? That part is entirely up to us. How we choose to react can shape the outcome, our mindset, and even the direction of our lives.
Take driving, for example. Over the years, I’ve had my fair share of accidents, most of them involving deer. Let me be clear- the deer never wins. My immediate reaction? Frustration. Maybe anger. Definitely a few choice words I probably shouldn’t say. Even though I know there was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent it, I still get upset, every single time.
Not everyone reacts that way. I’ve seen friends, family members, and clients respond to similar accidents with a completely different emotional response. Instead of frustration, they freeze. They feel overwhelmed. Their mind jumps to What if that had been worse? My wife, for instance, if she were driving and hit a deer, she wouldn’t be mad, she’d be shaken, maybe even in tears. Same situation, entirely different reaction. The way we initially react to an event is often automatic- it’s built into us, but what we do next is a choice.
This got me thinking about my work and how people respond to financial news, particularly market fluctuations. Two people can receive the exact same piece of information at the exact same time, yet their reactions can be wildly different. One panics, the other shrugs. One makes a snap decision, the other takes time to process. Those differences in reaction have a massive impact on long-term decision-making.
When something happens, whether in life, in the markets, or in any situation where we feel a loss of control, our emotional reaction may be instinctive, but our next move is entirely up to us. That’s where emotional intelligence comes in. The ability to pause and separate our gut reaction from our actual decision-making is incredibly powerful.
In my experience, the people who develop the discipline to do this tend to make better choices over time. They don’t let fear or frustration dictate their next step. They take a breath. They reassess. They choose how to proceed, rather than letting emotion choose for them.
So, as you go through your day and encounter situations- big or small- that trigger an emotional response, pay attention. Recognize the difference between your initial reaction and the decision you make afterward. One may be automatic, but the other is within your control. And that’s where real power lies.
Mark J Modzeleski, CFS, CLTC, AIF
President, Legacy Wealth Advisors of NY