When you look through a keyhole, you feel like you're seeing the whole room. You can describe what’s inside—maybe even with confidence. The problem is, you’re only seeing one angle. It’s not until you open the door that you realize how much you couldn’t see.
Over the last few weeks, a lot has happened in my world. Some of it has been great. Some of it? I wish it had gone differently—maybe not that it didn’t happen, but at least not the way it did. Still, everything is fine. We’re okay. Actually, we’re more than okay.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea of being “on the plus side of average.” If I’m being honest, that’s where my family sits. When I look around at our life—our health, our home, the work we do, the people we love—I know we’re fortunate. We’re in a place where we have stability and opportunity. That’s a gift. However, that gift also comes with something else: the temptation to always want more.
It seems that once we get comfortable, we unconsciously slide our definition of “average” up the scale. The baseline shifts. What used to feel like “doing pretty well” becomes “just okay.” We start comparing up the ladder instead of recognizing what we already have. We view our lives through this narrow keyhole of our current circumstances, and we forget that the full room—the broader view—might tell a different story.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t strive. Ambition is good. Setting goals is good. But it’s also worth asking: are we trying to grow and improve because we want to become better versions of ourselves, or are we just chasing some invisible standard that keeps moving?
Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective. Maybe a quiet moment, a conversation with a friend, a surprise event—good or bad—that nudges us to zoom out and see things differently.
For me, the past couple of weeks reminded me that life is never all good or all bad. It’s layered. Most of us live in that layered space where joy and challenge live side by side. We’re doing well, but we’re also navigating things. We’re fortunate, but not untouched by real stuff.
I’m trying to be better about opening the door, not just peeking through the keyhole. I want to see the full picture, not just what’s convenient or comfortable. I want to keep reaching, sure, but not at the expense of forgetting how far we’ve come.
We all get stuck in our own viewpoint sometimes. We forget that others might be looking at the same situation from a different angle. We forget that even our own viewpoint changes over time.
Here’s my encouragement to anyone reading this: pause once in a while. Push the door open. Take a breath and remind yourself that your “average” might actually be someone else’s dream. Your “plus side” might be exactly where you’re meant to be—for now.
And maybe, just maybe, there’s more to see when we stop looking through the keyhole and start appreciating the whole room.
Mark J Modzeleski, CFS, CLTC, AIF
President, Legacy Wealth Advisors of NY