Leadership Through Influence and Example
Leadership isn't about the title you hold. It's about the example you set, the influence you earn, and the people you help reach their potential.
As I was driving into work this morning, it was another beautiful fall day in Central New York. The sun was shining, the temperature was about 35 degrees, and I found myself stuck behind a school bus picking up kids bundled up in their winter coats and hats.
On one hand, I wanted to get moving. I had things to do, people to see, and a full day ahead of me. On the other hand, maybe the world was telling me to slow down a little, enjoy the drive, and take a few minutes to think.
As I drove, my mind wandered to some of the conversations I've been having with clients lately. Different businesses, different challenges, but a common theme kept coming up: leadership, and how we help people reach their potential.
Years ago, I remember reading a little book by Mark Sanborn titled You Don’t Need a Title to Be a Leader: How Anyone, Anywhere, Can Make a Positive Difference, and while the message was simple, it stuck with me: leadership isn't about the position you hold, but the influence you have and the example you set for others. Too often, we associate leadership with a position. The owner, the president, the manager, the person sitting at the head of the table. There's almost this image of a king sitting on a throne, telling everyone else what to do.
Certainly, leadership requires making decisions, setting direction, and sometimes telling people what needs to happen. But the more I think about it, and the more I work with businesses and individuals, the more I believe great leadership comes down to two things: influence and example.
Influence Is Earned, Not Assigned
Some of the best leaders I've known are thoughtful, patient, and slow to anger. They understand people, recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and know how to encourage them to accomplish things they might not have believed they could do.
There's an art to that.
It's knowing when to speak, when to listen, what words to use, and sometimes when to say nothing at all.
I often talk about the ability to influence people in a way that helps them come to their own realization. Rather than simply telling someone what to do, you help them understand why doing it matters, how it benefits the team, and ultimately how it benefits them.
That's a very different approach than managing through authority.
And frankly, it's harder.
Anyone with a title can give an order. Getting someone to believe in what they're doing, take ownership of it, and want to do it well takes a different set of skills.
Example Carries Weight
Whether you're talking about a battlefield, a soccer pitch, a family business, or an office, people naturally respect those who have been there and done that.
Experience matters. So does effort.
It's difficult to ask someone to work hard, maintain a positive attitude, or take responsibility if you're unwilling to do those same things yourself.
The best leaders I've seen aren't necessarily the loudest people in the room. They're often the ones quietly doing the right things, day after day.
Their work ethic, attitude, aptitude, and ability set the standard for everyone around them.
And when they've earned a few battle scars, literally or figuratively, their words tend to carry a little more weight.
That credibility creates respect, and respect creates the opportunity to influence.
The Challenge of Developing Leaders
One of the biggest challenges I see in businesses today, particularly in middle management, is helping people make the transition from doing their jobs well to leading others effectively.
Being good at your job doesn't automatically make you a good leader.
You have to learn how to communicate, motivate, encourage, and occasionally correct people without making everything about your authority.
I've spent much of the last decade in positions where I've had opportunities to help others develop those skills, both within our business and through organizations I've been fortunate enough to work with.
And I'm here to tell you, it's hard.
In our financial planning practice, much of what we do is influence people to make decisions that align with their goals, their families, and their willingness to take risk. Our experience helps us provide perspective, but ultimately, the decisions need to belong to them.
I've come to believe that's a big part of what I was called to do.
My challenge now is passing those skills along to others.
Leadership Is Built Through Habits
You don't wake up one morning and suddenly become an influential leader. You don't simply announce that your experience should earn everyone's respect.
You earn it through consistent actions.
I've become a big believer in building habits and stacking those habits in the right order. Doing the little things correctly, over and over again, eventually becomes part of who you are.
The interesting thing is that it doesn't necessarily take decades.
Sometimes doing the right things consistently for just a few weeks begins to change your attitude. That changes your effort, which changes your results. And eventually, other people begin to notice.
Leadership develops the same way.
It's showing up prepared. Following through on commitments. Taking responsibility when things go wrong. Giving credit when things go right. And treating people with respect, even when you're frustrated.
None of those things requires a title.
So, as we head into the next month, I'd encourage you to think about two questions:
Are you setting the example you want others to follow?
And are you using your influence to help others reach their potential while moving the entire team toward a common goal?
Maybe that's what that school bus was reminding me of this morning. Sometimes slowing down gives us a chance to think about where we're going, how we're getting there, and who's coming along with us.
After all, leadership isn't simply about getting people to follow you.
It's about helping them become better along the way.
Mark J. Modzeleski, CFS®, CLTC®, AIF®
President, Legacy Wealth Advisors of NY