“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”
That quote is most commonly attributed to Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr., with several slightly different versions floating around.
A couple years ago, I wrote a blog about how travel changes me and, ultimately, makes me a better advisor. While doing some reading recently, I came across that quote again, and it immediately brought me back to that original thought. Funny how certain words hit differently depending on where you are in life when you read them.
The older I get, the more I believe that quote is true.
Currently, I’m heading overseas for yet another experience. Every single time we schedule a trip like this, there’sthis wave of excitement and anticipation. Then life gets busy, work piles up, calendars fill, and the trip almost becomes background noise for a while. But then, somewhere along the line, it becomes real again. The countdown starts. The anticipation builds. And without fail, there’s always that little voice in the back of my head asking, “Should I really go?”
And then I go.
And every single time, I come home grateful thatI went.
I’ve never once regretted an experience that stretched me.
I think what Holmes said applies to far more than academics or travel. Honestly, I think it applies to almost everything in life. Experiences shape us. They stretch us. They change the dimensions of who we are, whether we realize it in the moment or not.
As parents, spouses, friends, mentors, advisors, consultants, business owners, teammates, and leaders, the more experiences we have, both individually and together, the more perspective we gain. And I think perspective is one of the greatest gifts that experience gives us.
People often say that wisdom comes with age. I think there’s truth to that, but maybe it’s not really about age itself.Maybe wisdom is simply accumulatedthrough experience. The older we get, the more life we’ve lived through. More wins. More disappointments. More relationships. More uncertainty. More joy. More grief. More conversations. More mistakes. More moments that permanently alter the way we see the world.
Now, I know there are academics who would argue that reading literature or listening to great thinkers can provide the same thing. And certainly there’s tremendous value in learning from others.
But I still don’t think it’s the same.
Reading about something and living through something are two completely different things.
You can read about resilience. Or you can sit in a hospital waiting room.
You can listen to someone describe pride. Or you can watch your child accomplish something for the first time.
You can study leadership. Or you can have employees and clients depending on you during difficult moments.
You can hear someone talk about heartbreak. Or you can get the phone call that changes your life forever.
Experiences stretch the human mind and spirit in ways that information alone simply cannot.
Attending your first marathon while a friend runs it.
Being there when your first child is born.
Hearing that you’re going to become a grandparent.
Landing the biggest client of your career.
Getting the call from a longtime client saying, “Thanks, but we’re moving on.”
Developing friendships you think will last forever, only to realize years later you haven’t spoken in ages.
Meeting someone new and having no idea at the time how much they’ll eventually impact your life.
All of it stretches you.
Our organization is going through a lot of change right now, thankfully much of it positive. We’re growing. We’re evolving. We’re making thoughtful decisions about how we continue supporting our clients, the people we already know, and the people we haven’t met yet. At the same time, we’re trying to support one another well because people experience life differently, and people need different things during different seasons.
That’s another thing experience teaches you, empathy.
The underlying theme in all of this seems to be growth.
Whether we want to or not, we are going to grow. We will grow older. We will grow wiser. We will grow different. Even routine experiences slowly shape us over time. Day over day. Month over month. Year over year.
The person you are today is not the person you’ll be five years from now.
And honestly, while that can feel a little unsettling at times, I think it’s also incredibly inspiring.
I’m excited about the future.
Sure, there are things that I wish moved differently. I wish time slowed down a little. When you’re young, it feels like life can’t move fast enough. The older you get, the more you realize just how quickly it all goes. Seasons change. Kids grow up. Parents age. Businesses evolve. Relationships deepen. Others drift away.
Life moves.
But maybe that’s the point.
The movement, the stretching, the growth, the experiences - they are what shape us into who we become.
And what a privilege it is to experience enough life to be changed by it.
I’m looking forward to my next experiences. Looking forward to the next stretch. Looking forward to seeing how they continue shaping who I am, who we are, and who we’re becoming.